Had it

The team stinks. The stadium is years away from being a destination. And trying to come up with posts on this increasingly depressing subject is, well, depressing. So we're going Twitter only until further notice.

twitter.com/imissrfk

Thanks for the conversations. Peace.

WaPo discovers teh twitta!

Bloggers! Twitterers! Rich CEO's who can't go to a party at Katherine Weymouth's house anymore! Use the hash tag #natswp to let them know how awesome/suckalicious the experience at STBNGNP is and they'll stream a live twitter feed somewhere with an ad for MASN wrapped around it and it will be awesome.

"You're from Fair-Fax"

I hope this is true, from the DC Sports Bog -

Boston fans chant: "Let's go Red Sox"
Nats fans response: "You're from Fair-Fax"

And a great collection of fan attire also from the Bog.

USA!

OK, that's the good, no great sports news today. After a decent game where I got a half smoke and a beer in decent time, I gotta say Sox fans are a lot like Cubs fans.

The Nation

No, not the old DC nightclub replaced by STBNGNP. No, the Red Sox Nation. The legions of green and pink baseball hat clad douche nozzles from Bethesda/McLean/Glover Park/etc. who jumped on the Sox bandwagon back in '04. They will be out in full disinterested force for three straight nights of drinking and obnoxious behavior. Sure they're Sox fans even though they went to Langley High School. Their cousin went to UMass and they spent a week in Wellfleet when they were nine so that qualifies them. Ugh. The Soon To Be Closed By The New York Times Boston Globe (STBCBTNYTBG) ran an article on just how destitute NatsTown is. Hat tip to Chico at NJ.

Nats win. Mets lose. STBNGNP works.

Lannan pitches complete game. Three hr's. Five DP's. Sad Mets fans. Easy lines for dogs and beers. For one night, a grand baseball experience.

Deadspin jumps on the bandwagon

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Nationals Park

Tunes

Part of the increasingly lousy experience is that the music is lame at STBNGNP. Although I do like the addition of the organist.

But aside from one appearance by Chuck Brown at RFK in '05, has there been any acknowledgment of DC music? I can't remember any.

So without further ado, here's what I'd like to hear:

Following TMOTTBG in the 7th inning stretch - Shake Your Groove Thing by Peaches n Herb.
When the opposing team sends in relief - Da Butt - E.U.
Between the 6th and 7th - Afternoon Delight, Will Ferrell version
Opposing coaching visit to the mound - Waiting Room - Fugazi

Throw in some more Chuck Brown, some Bad Brains and Chocolate City by Parliament and that's a good rotation.

Thoughts?

Baby, it's a lost cause

Read WaTimes' Zuckerman. This could be the worst team in the modern era.

Just like Beck says.

Nats win

Great game. O's fans are a pleasant lot, especially compared to the knuckle draggers from Philly and NY. STBNGNP still can't run a concession stand with any efficiency if there's more than 30K. I was waiting for a hot dog vendor to come to our section, but the only food guy was hawking a $5.25 pretzel...which seems criminal. A pretzel for more than a hot dog? I mean a turkey, cow, pig and raccoon all died to make that dog. The line at Ben's behind 108 wasn't moving.

An experiment in positive thought

Or positive blogging at least. Yesterday, we posted a piece on Joe Torre's rocky start as a manager. It took him six seasons to reach .500. This is Manny's third. Will Manny be as successful as Torre? Stupid question. Will the Nats be as successful tonight as they were last night if I resist the urge to write a snarky post about them and instead say something positive (or at least constructive?) Let's give it a try.

I know a little about marketing. At least I pretend to in my day job. I think the Nats marketing campaign is an awful failure. I don't think anyone there knows much about this market. The DC area is the most hyper-educated in the country. There are more advanced degree holders here than anywhere else - by a wide margin.

"Washington, D.C., has the highest percentage of adults on the top rung, with 22.2 percent holding advanced degrees"

So why they think something as pedestrian as "NatsTown" would work is proof positive they don't get the market. Also Clint. And shooting sausages at the crowd. And, and, and.

DC is the smartest city in the room. I used to joke to a good friend in NY that while women there were more attractive than women in DC, the women in DC could probably tell you how to restructure debt in the developing world. And that beauty always fades.

This presents both challenges and opportunities from a marketing point of view. Think of the little things other trams do...specifically the Wizards line at the beginning of a game about being the most powerful city on the planet. That drives people from other cities bonkers. So at the start of the game, why not say, "All rise for the National(s) anthem"? The stupid Phillies couldn't say that.

The Nats need to elevate their game on and off the field. There are glimmers of a decent on the field product. Now Stan needs to get cracking on the other side. And why they didn't get NutraSystem to sponsor the Screech rebrand is beyond me.

Manny and some historical perspective

Thanks to a commenter over at NJ, here's a look at how Joe Torre began his career as a manager.

Fire Stan

All weekend long I was reading anecdotes of just how poorly represented the Nats fans were through the four game sweep by the effing Phillies. By some accounts, Sunday was 80/20. Could you imagine RFK before the 'Skins left seeing a game where the Beagles fans outnumbered us good guys by that margin? No? Right. Because it would have never freaking happened. Can you hear Jack Kent Cooke on a Philly radio saying anything other than outright ridicule for that wretched city and the despicable denizens therein? No, because he had class.

Stan, this isn't like inviting the nice folks from Chattanooga or Charlotte to come to Atlanta. It's Philly you schmuck. If you had any pride, you'd rather see an empty stadium that what went on here this weekend. Call Ted Leonsis and ask him. Or Dan Snyder after the Steelers game this year. They get it. They were pissed and in Ted's case worked to have it fixed.

How can Ted Lerner, a man who once ran the scoreboard at Griffith abide this? Would Bill Collins or Fred Maleck be letting this happen?

Fire Stan. Fire Manny.

If you aren't going to represent DC then get the hell out of DC.

Fire Manny

I hate feeling this way. I really like the guy. But something needs to change. Bring in Willie Randolph or Davey Johnson for the remainder if either would take it...they may not.

Montreal, please claim your belongings in the lost and found

I read through the post-mortem comments on the NJ blog this morning and a number of the late ones struck me. They seem to be folks who attended the game and went out of their way to comment on the bad service. The worst team in baseball's horrible bullpen just blew another game in monumental fashion and they felt compelled to point out that the fan experience still stinks.

This ownership makes me like Snyder more and more. At least he understands that the fan experience is an important component of his team...maybe too much sometimes. As much as I hate Giants Stadium South, I tend to enjoy myself once there and never have a problem getting a beer or food.

The Lerner/Kastens have no sense of this. Running Presidents, video games and batting cages are great but if a season ticket holder can't get a hot dog, who cares? The marketing department - the one who gave us Nats Town - seems utterly oblivious to this PR disaster.

Once, I was all messed up on losing

You ever have a friend that's messed up on drugs, liquor, Jesus or all three? For a while they handle it, but you start to see the beginnings of the death spiral. Maybe you ignore them or deny they are happening. But when your friend ends up in rehab or a Promise Keeper or both, you look back and finally see the warning signs in the harsh light of day.

I think that's where this franchise is headed. They seem so focused on the plan so damn everything else. Kasten must think that since he did it in Atlanta, it's going to work here. Sorry - Atlanta is a different market entirely and what worked there may not work in DC. It's also a very different time. As I've said previously, he's losing a generation of fans by not spending money on players they need now to be a .500 team. We don't want a contender - we just don't want the worst team in baseball. Until they crawl out of the cellar, I've got no interest in going (now that the streak is over). And according to this morning's Post, I'm not alone.

Train wreck + 30

Even the guy who is supposed to be "the guy" in the 'pen. The guy who knows the NL West hitters. He fails. I mean, WTF? Ugh. Why do I stay up for this abuse?


That thing Zimm's doing's now at 30.

Go get Pedro

Are you telling me that he'd be worse than 0 - 7 Daniel freakin' Cabrera? Who by the way might be an effective closer. He could be waiting for you in DC. Can you imagine the gate with him as a starter and that thing Zimm's doing is still on?

Go. Get. Pedro.

4 and 0, 17, 26, .392

Man the Caps were dead last night. So, the good news.

Martis is 4 - 0. You know who else has 4 wins? Johan Santana. Granted his ERA is 0.91 but still. No pitcher on the Phillies has 4 wins.

Strasburg throws a no-hitter with 17 K's. Merry Strasmas. Think Rizzo follows Boras on Twitter yet?

That thing Zimm's doing continueth.

And finally, the Goooz. Remember back to beloved RFK when we'd joke about the Mendoza Line being renamed for Guzman? He's batting a NL best .392.

Let's go Caps!

Dear Stan

I'd like to talk revenue. My 10 year old daughter - who has been to over 30 Nats games, many at beloved RFK but lots at Nats Park - now wants to know why she's never been to a Caps game because, and I quote, "they win their games." I explained economics and that I prefer baseball to hockey. But I lost. And you are losing a generation of fans. Just an FYI.

Another bullpen implosion

This time it wasn't ours! How refreshing to see another team struggle and have the Nats capitalize with timely hitting for the win. Weather permitting, and with the 'Stros depleted pen on no rest, let's hope they can get to Oswalt and carry a three win streak to LA and the return of the Beimel.

Belly itchers

Fire Jim Bowden has a good rundown on unemployed arms. I concur I'd rather see Odalis Perez than Cabrera.

We Want Pedro! We Want Pedro!

At this point, what's 5 million bucks? Especially for a team who according to Forbes turned the second highest profit in baseball last year? And go get Freddy Garcia while you're at it. For the love of God Rizzo, do something or else Nats Park will begin to look even more like a ghost town than it did last night.

Ready for the paper bag on the head if I ever decide to go out to a game again. One upside is that even when the recession ends, no corporation is going to want to associate their name with this abomination of an organization by purchasing the naming rights to the stadium.

Kasten needs to read up on his DC history. I look forward to Saturday night.

Arms trade

I crap you negative. The newest Nat is named Logan French Kensing. Furrealz. French Kensing. How awesome is that? So what if he has a 9.82 ERA so far this year. His name is French Kensing. And he threw in 40+ games last year with a 4.23 ERA. So I'll take it. Now go give Pedro 5 million bucks to be a closer, trade an outfielder for another live arm and we'll go from there.

This signing in no way stopped the bleeding (losing, fan abandonment, etc.) but it may have slowed it. Luckily everyone's going to be distracted by the Caps for the next 10 days or so and they can attribute the poor gate numbers and viewers to that.

I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...

Hanrahan? Mock? Rivera?

After reading Zimm's quote at the end of Harlan's WaPo story, I think the team needs to have a blanket party on the bullpen.

There's a level of professionalism one comes to expect from an organization. The Nats show flashes but there's no constancy. I don't buy the fire Manny stuff...these are Trader Jim's players. But Rizzo needs to pull the trigger on a trade today. Willingham for two live arms. Anything to show they're mad as hell and they're not going to take it any more. If not, it's over in April for lots and lots of fans - both at the park and on the teevee.

A little F(i)lip

I've had an epiphany. The endless snark of idiot bloggers is nothing new...it's been alive and well on the pages of New York's crappy non-NYT newspapers for years. Epitomized perfectly by the Daily News' Filip Bondy yesterday:

"But the Nats are the Nats. They may be Bud Selig's greatest enduring embarrassment, not involving steroids, uniquely incompetent and unsympathetic. They have a new stadium in the nation's capital, the result of long-term blackmailing. They're owned by a billionaire, Ted Lerner. Their ex-GM, Jim Bowden, has been investigated for skimming bonus money."

And the Mets are the Mets and if they can get back to .500 and sniff the division lead, we all know what will happen come September. Oh, and the Caps crushed the Rangers. So for a day at least, DC embarrassed NY.

Brutal loss

Walked in the winning run. Lannan was sharp though so that's good. Off day tomorrow then hello Chez Deux! Oh, and the Caps look done for and the 'Skins are destroying their QB so the slowly improving Nats may be the best story in town for a while.

Bad news

Ugh. Beimel to DL. Saaaahuuuuhl back up.

Good news

A win. Inked Zim. JZ beats D Lowe. Baby steps.

Natinals

Are. You. Effing. Kidding. Me? Thankfully they're so bad that either no one cares or they took pity on them and didn't start a twitter frenzy like #amazonfail.

How can a team in a major market function like this? The team flags buried around the park so low no one can see them? The failure of the cracker jack marketing department for not getting NutraSystem as a partner on the slim Screech?

I want to move to KC where they know how to run an organization.

Chez Deux

Anyone go to the Mets' opener last night?

The morning after pill

Boswell seems sorta kinda optimistic...but he's a pro, not a snarky basement-dwelling blogger. I like the idea of Lastings "Ocho Cinco, Jr." Milledge being sent down (or traded). There's something to be said about the offensive output. Heck, if you'd told me last October we'd be hanging 9 runs on the Phils in April I'd have been happy. But WTF with the pitching?

Back to the park. It didn't smell; the Phillies fans were tolerable. As for food and beer, I gave up after grabbing a beer from the Miller bar under the scoreboard right at the start of the game. Gwitch Rules headed up for a soda in the 4th and gave up after 20 minutes. Understanding that this is a new vendor, you knew it was going to be awful again and that it will take them until June to work out the kinks. The team will be so lousy by then that the average 15K crowd will make the vending experience a breeze.

I have no plans to go to a game until next week so feel free to send along your experiences.

Ugh.

Same as the old boss

OK so opening day has come and gone and guess what? The team stinks, the wait for food is a joke and a starting player got hurt (Guzman.) This team could lose more than 102. Manny won't last the spring and we may lose them to Charlotte by August.

Three days away

What's in store for us? Stay tuned.

The new Screech

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse. That NatsTown was the bottom and like the economy, once it's hit bottom it starts moving upwards again. Well, also like the economy, NatsTown's not the bottom. They go lower still.




Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu we give you the crappiest franchise in the Majors.

Oh to be a Royals fan.

Bowden. Is. Gone.

Boz

Today's column is good, stabilizing and sobering. I particularly like the point he raises about the '09 team being what they should have been last year.

Mike Rizzo!

Barry's back on the beat

He really is a good writer, our Mr. Svrluga. Here's his story on the Dominican kid who will take down Trader Jim. BTW, looks like Rijo is a goner. One of the commenters over at Nats Journal referred to it as "Blame it on Rjo." If only Jimbo were as charming as Michael Caine.

It has begun...

'Nats v 'Stros. Spring training. And it's warm in DC. Looks like AK is volunteering to be the outfielder to be traded later by going 0 - 2 and stranding 5.

Fire him

Sports Illustrated story on the bonus skimming scandal.

He's got to go. I don't care if he's 100% innocent. This is too much of a distraction. It's bad for the team, the city and the fans. We need a(nother) CHANGE.

the natosphere

So we didn't make the cut for the WaPo's Nats Journal blog roll. The ink-stained wretches found us unworthy - I reckon because the sole reason for this blog is to bellyache. Anyway, here's the A-list of Nationals blogs according to one Chico Harlan. Funny, my porn first name is Chico. I wonder what the DC Sports Bog is? Redskins Park?

Official Site

Washington Nationals Fan Forum

Nationals Farm Authority

Federal Baseball

Nationals Enquirer

Ballparkguys.com Board

Nats320

Nationals Inquisition

Nats Triple Play

Oleanders and Morning Glories

We've Got Heart

Planetary Nats Blog

Nationals Pride

NationalsFanboyLooser

Fire Jim Bowden

D.C. Sports Bog

Smile

Oh, lordy. Please tell me this is it for Trader Jim.

I Miss Aramark

Remember that final year at RFK? When you could get a hot dog and a beer with no waiting? OK, maybe a short wait if it was a 30K+ night, but it was negligible. And even then, there were always some go-to stands who had it down. Remember the lovely women who staffed the Guinness stand behind home plate? Ah, good times.

From WaPo's Nats Journal: New Vendor for Nats Park

So just when - we hope - last year's vendor had ironed out their kinks and were going to launch the new season running as a well oiled machine, they pull the plug. Ugh. Maybe they just don't want this blog to go away.

The company is Levy Restaurants. They do the food at Wrigley, Dodger, PNC and a few more. It's been ages since I was at Wrigley and was too engrossed in the "game" to pay attention to the food & beverage service so I open it up to the peanut gallery. Is this a good thing? Is it a sign to go with the Dunn signing that the Lerner's are starting to get it? Or is it as I fear, another service disaster to suffer through for an entire season?

Why we want Nick to stay if he's healthy

WaPo's Chico Harlan has a great bit on Johnson's work on his swing. If the baseball gods are willing to give him a year off the DL and he stays on the team, good things could happen. A healthy NJ and his usually superb OBP batting in front of Dunn, Dukes and Zimm? 70 wins here we come!

Coming soon: marketing suggestions in response to bellyaching commenters.

Chico's Top Ten

Is this the second year for Barry Svrluga's replacement? Anyway, he's got a pretty good top ten list of questions we hope are answered before that first trip to Miami in April.

In other news, Omar adds another Nats cast-off to the squad by signing Livan. Now, I was always a big fan of Livo when he donned the curly W and hope he does well at Shea v2. Is it not the perfect sign that they named their stadium after a corrupt and now semi-disgraced financial institution? If congress had a sense of humor, they would have written a provision in the stimulus plan mandating Citi to change the name to TARP Field. Just think of the endless jokes during rain delays!

This has got to mean Pedro's done in NY. Trader Jim? Don't even think about it.

Over at "Fire Jim Bowden", they've got a good list of the other Nats/Expos Omar has added.

No Hudson-on-Anacostia

Bill Ladson writes Trader Jim says no O Dog for us this year. The injury issue added to the fact he probably won't sign more than a one year deal makes this a good move. So let's play lineup, shall we? But first, can we have Dunn take BP in RFK to see if he can hit one of Hondo's chairs?

Hernandez - 2B
Guzman - SS
Johnson - 1B
Dunn - LF
Zimmernam - 3B
Kearns/Dukes - RF
Milledge - CF
The Jesus - C

If Hernandez replicates the way he ended the year and God willing Nick stays healthy (and stays on the team), this looks better than

Guzman - SS
Vidro - 2B
Wilkerson - CF
Guillen - RF
Castilla - 3B
Johnson - 1B
Church - LF
Schneider - C

and those guys won 81 games.

Holy Cr@p!

They signed Dunn. The Nats have a clean up hitter. They're going to rename the Red Porch/Loft/Whatever after him.

This is great. They may win 70 games this year.

Nats Town

By now I imagine many out there have seen this...the new marketing pitch from our friends on Half St. It fails on a couple levels. First, it's indicative of both Red Sox Nation and Wrigleyville which shows an utter lack of creativity. I guess they're trying to grow their marketing department internally instead of going out and hiring free agents. Secondly, it rips off the Caps, currently the only successful sports team in town. And I mean that, Hoyas. And finally, what $40 hr. designer did they find on craigslist to do this? It breaks so many fundamental design and typography rules, it hurts my eyes.

I think the last time DC had something this sad was when the Bonus Army set up Hooverville.

Upside to the recession

Given the current economic climate, I think we can safely assume that Nats Park will remain unblemished by a crummy corporate name for at least one more year so I'll stop referring to is as "Soon to be Named Gaylord Nationals Park," or STBNGNP. It may actually be longer. After the economy recovers, A, B and C-list corporate sponsors may be as wary of signing deals with the Nats as A, B and C-list free agents have been. But such an average park for such a horrible team needs a moniker befitting their circumstances. So I open it up to those of you who may be trickling back after a long off-season.

Suggestions?

PS - Pitchers and Catchers in 7 days.

Two weeks

Now that football's Yankees have won their six Super Bowl, it's almost time to get down to business and welcome Adam Dunn and Orlando Hudson to STBNGNP. Oh wait, never mind.